Pussy Galore

It takes a while to recover from heartbreak, and sometimes having a hard dick in you is the only way... and trust me that's all I wanted, fuck you I thought of nothing but getting my pussy ravaged inside and out. Just one call, a direct dial to Mr Suck It Bitch or better yet give my Weezy (so called cos this boy looooves head, sit him between the juicy moisture of your legs and he'll suck on your clit so hard you have to force him off before you cream him right in his mouth) a call and it's done but is this now the time to spiral back into my cycle of self pity and loathing?? NO!

If only I was a boy, I could fuck all and everyone I wanted and get a pat on the back, give a recommendation here or there to all my guys so everyone can enjoy, why not right, pussy is pussy but fuck GOOD pussy is hard to find these days and even as a woman I know this. I've been told many a time, gripping on to the shaft of my new conquest feeling it swell against my walls showered with the sweet nectar of my enjoyment... this is indeed what good fucking feels like boys, take note. I'll take you in and caress you until every last drop ouzes into me, and then suck up all you choose to bestow upon my bee stung lips.

*damn I'm horny, break time me thinks... brb

Diary of a Mad Black Woman!

THE INTRO: Presenting Mr T

Oh what a beautiful specimen of a man: tall, dark, handsome and with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my adult life. If I could have taken a composite of lots of different people and made my ideal this is what it would look like, well the face at least, he was a touch skinny but fuck who cares, ladies I present to you a pretty boy, what was to be MINE but oh what an assumption to make! For this one can't be tied down, won't be tied down and will do his best to let you know at every available opportunity crushing what little you have left of your soul bit by bit... If only I'd known this for the start, maybe I would have locked my heart away and spared myself all the heartache the past 7 months has given. Yes I'm mad but more so I'm hurt... My spirit has been crushed, they say karma is a bitch eh?! Well maybe this is my punishment for playing with men over the past couple of years... *sigh

My Night(mare)

Waking up, I had a hideous flashback of the previous night. What had started out as an innocent birthday get together had so throughly backfired on my ass! Kicked out of a club, OMG what is the world coming to... Had I honestly consumed that much alcohol?? Surely not! I'm a good girl after all and good girls do NOT sink down to such levels.

I lost a solid three hours of my life, no recollection, no way of piecing together what happened. One minute I was with friends and the next lying awake in my bed trying to fight off the music resonating in my head and stop the tingling in my skin as what alcohol left in my system tried to fight its way out. But what happened if something more drastic had happened, if no friends had been around, if no-one had been there to put me in a taxi and prop me up against a wall? What a frightening thought. Alone and out of my mind, I'm sure that unfortunately there are men out there willing to take advantage of such a situation and have fun with the "good time" girl sitting in the corner...

No more I say! I need to stay in complete control, I felt lost and that is not a feeling I want to experience any time soon. Lesson learned! Better this way than any other...

Signing off for now! Still in recovery and sleep is calling be back soon, so many tales to tell of my escapades in the last few months.

Don't Hold Your Breath!

Been away for a quick minute now. Thought I could maybe try and find myself and see if there was a way to be "sans fornication" and who knows maybe cut off certain people in my life who were turning me into something that I didn't want to be, but sigh twasn't to be...

I had moment of self deprivation, the kind where you long for something SO bad but know deep down staying away from it is for the best?? And you know what, it's pure agony I tell you! Now though, things may just have changed somewhat... Seems although I managed a good few months, a leopard can never change its spots... *wink.

But trust me though the road back to my "salvation" has been an interesting one indeed... Anyone wanna come on the journey with me... ;)

Sleep Deprivation...

My mind refuses to switch off, I'm lying in bed and it's currently 2:52am *sigh... Am sure my head shouldn't be working this hard right now! Maybe transferring all the thoughts I have swirling around will enable me to drift off... Well one can all but hope. It's funny the things you do to amuse yourself though at times like these, personally I like to find my camera and get naked- a sin I'm sure but honestly you should try it sometimes, it leads to a lot of interesting moments! Dare to bare! It makes for a far more uninhibited life ...

UPDATE: Obv sleep wasn't that hard to find as it's now 22/06/08 17:36

It's been a hectic weekend indeed. Ran up to London for some houseparty that ended up being a trifle dull! Who in their right mind has lights on at these kinda things, like seriously surely that only restricts the goings on! And with more penises than anything else felt like it was feeding time at the Zoo as they all swarmed in for the kill! I went to go see Mr Accountant as he was the one hosting... was kinda hoping I'd get to spend some proper time with him but with all the "sausagemeat" around and the need to be discrete all I got was a mere two mins and a brief whisper of "If only we were alone" as he disappeared into the throng.

I think to date, he is one of the best fucks I have ever had! Twas such a shame to walk away and not leave with that normal feeling of utter satisfaction I get.  Girls you know I'm sure, that "dazed, unable to get the smile of your face, if only you could be in me permanently" kinda feeling... Mmmmmm. Better luck next time I guess.

I did get laid these weekend though. And twice to boot. I stayed with Mr X's ex-flatmate. A lil' trifling I know as I'm SO still feeling Mr X right now and talk to him like everyday but I did try I promise. When we got back from the house party (I was crashing at his place) I fought him off so hard intially, fell asleep on the blow up bed that was placed in the living room only to be woken up with something hard pressed up against me. Ignoring it at first, this "thing" then proceeded to grow harder and harder and try as I might it intrigued me. Lifting me up and carrying me to the main bed, OG pinned me to the bed and stipped me in a slow and agonisingly frustrating way. I've been with him before it's true but each time it still surprises me when he presents "himself". FUCK ME! I swear no-one should be that well endowed. It hurts for Chrissakes! There is no way in hell that boy will ever ever get close to me unless I'm absolutely prepared for it and by prepared I mean there has to be a "river" running before he can start to cross. 

And the boy knows this for sure, he spent an eternity probing with his fingers. Exploring every internal wall he could find and then stroking till I murmered with satisfaction

Conflicted Much?!

Oh dear, I seem to make a hash of things these days, I'm thoroughly conflicted!! In fact I think conflicted isn't even strong enough a word... What to do? Lemme explain my dilemma...

Fancy this, I think I could be falling in love, and falling fast at that!! That icky sticky feeling you have when you know you want to be around someone more than you would say a friend. I'm have this feeling that this could actually mess up the illogical mess that happens to be my life right now. Do I need any more complications, seriously now, I need to snap out of this already.

I've been talking to Mo for the past little while since he went back now (he lives in Barcelona) and am finding it harder to resist his charms. But we are in such different places right now that I'm sure our paths could ever really meet properly. Friends with benefits... I think that's what you could call us right now but in my head am not sure that's enough anymore. I love that we play with each other and can normally separate that from feelings but surely the fact that I now react when he talks of his other female "friends" speaks volumes...

He doesn't even live in the effin country - oh my lord! Heaven help, I pray that this boy isn't the one that breaks me, give me strength...

He's back again in a couple of day I need to get my mind off this like yesterday, there's only one cure... I need to get laid and fast. Maybe I'll call Mr "Suck it Bitch" again and see if he fancies redeeming himself.

UPDATE: 18/05/08, 23:45pm

Must say am feeling a little more at ease now... It really does help to blow off some steam sometimes (no pun intended)! With the kind of evening I've had let's hope it helps to calm my urges for a couple more days.

P.S. Lookie see what the lucky boy got to play with...

THE LOWDOWN

I love the way he throws me around - I'm his lil' toy and with him I love how we can role play. He treats me like a dirty whore he's hired for the night who's there to do his bidding and I love it. He's the only one I currently do that with and it's a turn on everytime. Enter Mr "Suck it Bitch" again. I normally either come dressed up in one outfit or another, it's such a major turn on for me. This time though I resisted the urge to and simply baby oiled every inch of my body up put on my sexiest black heels and Mac and headed out the door.

As I arrived at the door of his apartment, I was welcomed with a half smirk. As he led me down the corridor, his eyes tracing their way up and down my body longing for a peek at what was hiding beneath my coat.

We entered the bedroom. I turned around and dropped my coat seductively to the floor, peeking over my shoulder at him as he sat on the bed. I couldn't have felt more naked, his eyes baring down on me, moving slowly up my body. I could feel the wetness develop between my thighs. As I sauntered over to him I wrapped my loins around his making sure he got a good look of my breasts in the process. I came in gently at first and heard a strangled moan as he felt my tongue tentatively touching his lips, carefully sliding inside his mouth only to withdraw again, leaving him hanging. His own tongue darted out to taste mine. He tasted like cigarettes. Breaking the rhythm, I finally gave up my teasing games and kissed him in earnest, my grip on his crotch tightening to provide more friction.

We kissed as though our lives depended on it, heavy breathing, panting and hands that were once on his crotch made their way unknowingly to grab his broad shoulders, waist and tangle up in his hair. Control lost, I frantically sucked, kissed, and nibbled on every inch of him I could get my hands on feeling the heat between our bodies increase as we grinded on one another.

As his hands wandered down to my ass, I took this as a sign to proceed. My hands moved down to his torso I came upon the guardian of my salvation. Undoing his zip, I set the beast free and bwoy did it look hungry.

“Down,” he whispered, gently dragging me to the floor. After I removed his boxers, my mouth teased playfully with his manhood. I wrapped my tits around his cock and slid them up and down watching in earnest as his body began to contort in pleasure. This was closely followed by my mouth... I've always been a fan of giving head, I just can't seem to get enough of it. Give me a good enough dick and I can play for hours. Don't worry for all you voyeurs out there will explain my tricks later ;)

With his cock up and ready for action, I needed him in me. Surely it was now his turn to play. Crawling onto the bed, I looked over to him challenging him to match my display. And without hesitation he pounced. Spread my legs with willful abandon and holding them over his shoulders rammed me with such force I had to take a very deep breath in.

With some wild, impolite thrusting I felt him grow harder inside me, the soft moaning was now replaced with the sounds of "Oh yeah... ahhhh... baby... and that pussy feels so good..." Almost climaxing myself and my head thrown back, the shudder I had long been expecting came and pulling out of me he positioned me face first on his lap, slapping his dick against my face and tongue. And with that the smooth silky conclusion to our encounter spilled sexily all over my breasts...

Time for round two?!

The Game

Sex is a game. The players however can take many forms but the joys lie in both knowing the rules and being one of the best players on the pitch.

In most cases, the game is always the same but the players change and in my situation this is almost always true. There are however times when the players indeed determine the game.

Sometimes I need a good long screw... (I'm sure you know what I mean, none of that lovey dovey shit, just a good hard pounding - nothing more and nothing less). Here, I'm in what I call "fuck" mode. It's simple: there are basically three rules to follow;

• Fuck hard
• Fuck fast
• Fuck off

These rules are simple and I don't take any prisoners along the way. It makes it easier for me to separate feelings from the whole act and just scratch that itch. Sometimes unfortunately though it's not that simple. The lines get blurred and the other party is left wanting more than I can give them.

In my game, there are many players and luckily not one of them is the same, who'd want to be with different people that all did the same thing, doesn't that just defeat the purpose. To fully understand my game I think I need to introduce the players. Ideally I want one winner but am finding it difficult to choose that one guy/girl. Maybe you can help. Let me introduce the contenders...

There's a guy just like me who makes it easy to just be me. He was in my class the first time I saw him. 6'2" thug like mentality and a beautiful smile. I'd catch his eye a couple of times but had always rushed off after class to get to one thing or another so we had never really talked. One day things changed, and he actually came up to me. Dya know when you don't really expect something to happen so you don't hold out much hope for it and just dismiss it. That was how I was treating this. He walked over to me outside the library and just said hi.

Him: "So then, how are
you?"

Me: "I'm fine thanks,
wassup?"

Him: "Not much, I'm ......by the
way"

Me: "and I'm Maddie"

Him: "Maddie eh? strange name for a black
girl but I must say sexy though..."

Me: "Not too sure about that but thanks
anyway"

Him: "well no-one said I was talking about
the name but we'll let that be our secret"

And that was it, he simply walked off. Oh the cheek!! He knew exactly what he was doing, wanted me to really want him and yep I must say it worked. I thought that was the end of it til I got a text from an unknown number of couple of days later. It didn't say much but it was enough to get him back into my head again, I wanted to see him and blow me down with a feather we only lived around the corner from one another, an easy escape if I would need it...

It was late in the afternoon when I finally went round to his place. Not too late (I still had an escape plan in the back of my mind). As I stood naked in my apartment deciding on what to wear, my mind started to paint pictures as to what he would be like. Surely my judgement could be that bad. No more assholes please!!!

I keyed in his flat number and heard a voice beckon for me to come up. As the elevator went up I fixed my hair and applied another layer of my grape flavoured lipgloss (just in case don't you know). He came to the door - dang the boy was too fyne! As we made idle chit chat all I could think of was peeling the clothes off him and sitting astride his firm looking thighs. Perhaps it was movie time, that normally sets the right mood. *wink. I suggested a film in his room and although he seemed to contemplate the idea I'm sure he was just frontin' it honestly wasn't that hard to see what I had in mind.

I love the the feeling you get when you are about to embark on a new adventure: butterflies in the stomach, the moist build up between my thigh, the racing heartbeat. We sat on the bed as the movie intro began to roll he rolled over to me and turned me round to face him. He cupped my face in his hands and stared straight into my eyes. I could see the longing deep within his eyes. As he took his lips with mine my body melted into his arms. At first his tongue explored gently then as the heat between us grew he started searching with more heat. I could feel the friction between us. As his breathing became deeper, the hands started to wander. He carressed the now hardened peak that lay just underneath my shirt and flicked at it with his finger til it was fully erect. And then he looked me dead in the eyes perhaps in need of reassurance. With one look he got all he was looking for.

The clothes came off in a frenzy as his hands began searching. As his lips found my neck his hands made their way confidently down in beneath my thighs to the awaiting warmth. His hands were rough but welcome. As we lay in our nakedness he probed deeper and deeper inside me, stroking my opening as my body arched with the pure pleasure. Oh how I wanted to feel him inside me. Now it was my turn to play. I gently moved his hands and pushed him flat onto the bed so I could admire him. He was darker than I was, perfectly contoured and had a rock hard penis that looked like it wouldn't quit. That would be my next point of call. As I sat on top of him I nibbled on his nipple. Traced my tongue around it until it became hard in my mouth. I reached between my legs and grabbed his hardness in my hand. I could feel it throbbing between my fingers and wanted to explore it with my tongue. I made my way down his body leaving kisses along every inch. I grabbed the base of his cock with my right hand and started stroking slowly up and down his shaft. Starting with the tip I wrapped my lips around it and began stroking first with my lips then my tongue, pressing my tongue firmly against the side of him as my head bobbed up and down with pleasure. I could feel him contorting under me. As I sped up I could hear his breathing become shallower and then, just as I was really getting into it... "SUCK IT BITCH!" I prayed I was hearing things. See me wahala! This guy needed to be taught a lesson! I lowered myself onto him and began pounding away with him inside first slowly and then more furiously til I heard him moan out over and over again. I could feel him getting harder inside me. "Take that you son of a bitch... you like that huh... you dirty dog..." I was having too much fun. The faster I got the more he called out for more until he grabbed my ass and helped me ride him faster and faster until after a mini shudder I jumped off. I could feel his arousal start to die so placed his balls between my mouth sucked on them while I used my hand to finish him off. As his juices began to flow I let them drip all over my tits and stroked hard until every last drop came out, then helped with my mouth to clean up the little that was left. And with that he collapsed onto the bed... Head back and staring blankly at the ceiling I watched as his eyes closed slowly. I was ready for round 2 but he was still sleeping, shit how I hate that!

Mr "Suck it Bitch" was asleep so I made a hasty exit and left. Now it was up to him, maybe that call would come, maybe not. Either way I was good. I'd played my part to perfection; shame he had only participated in the first half of the game... As I made my way home, all I could think of was the porn waiting for me at home. I had not yet climaxed but give me 30 mins and I would finally get my own gratification *sigh.